Distributor: Walt Disney Pictures
Opening Weekend Box Office: #2 with $29,210,849
Domestic Box Office Gross to-date: $87,700,000
Gross Revenue: $217,800,000
Production Budget: $215 million
Director: Gore
Verbinski
Now, I consider myself something of an expert in
relation to Hollywood and pop-culture, but I am only marginally familiar with a
legendary character like the Lone Ranger, so I had to question Disney’s wisdom
in sinking a nine-figure budget into resurrecting a property that few members
of the general public under the age of thirty are even aware exists. If there was any filmmaking team even
remotely capable of handling such a gargantuan task, it was probably the guys
behind the Pirates of the Caribbean
franchise, but that kind of pedigree could only take marketing efforts for such
a risky and high-profile summer release so far.
As the revered sidekick Tonto, Johnny Depp was clearly going to be the
main selling-point of The Lone Ranger,
but even beyond the controversy over Depp playing a Native American, it was a
possible hindrance to future success to have a co-star so heavily outweigh the
main character…imagine trying to sell a Batman film where Robin is the
top-billed international A-lister. To
their credit, Disney certainly tried their hardest to position The Lone Ranger as THE high-profile
blockbuster of the summer, but even with all the cross-promotions and
partnerships (which ranged from Subway to Time Warner Cable for some reason)
there was still definitive cause to worry.
The nightmarish production delays and script rewrites had become
Hollywood legend, and early critical reviews were anything but praiseworthy…so
save an unforeseen miracle, Disney’s newest gamble was going to perform just as
poorly as almost EVERYONE predicted.
Set in the Old West just shy of the completion of
the Transcontinental Railroad, The Lone
Ranger introduces audiences to naïve lawyer John Reid (Armie Hammer) as he
returns home to the fictional town of Colby, Texas via a train managed by
railroad tycoon Latham Cole (Tom Wilkinson).
The train also happens to be transporting a Comanche Native named Tonto
(Johnny Depp) and dangerous outlaw Butch Cavendish (William Fichtner) as
prisoners, the latter of whom is scheduled to be hanged by John’s Texas Ranger
brother, Dan Reid (James Badge Dale), upon arrival. Unfortunately, Cavendish’s gang ambushes the
train and sets the outlaw free, and even though John and Dan gather several men
and begin pursuit, a trap is set and all lawmen, including the brothers, are
killed; as he succumbs to his wounds, John witnesses Cavendish cut out and eat
Dan’s heart. Sometime afterwards, the
recently escaped Tonto buries the slaughtered men, but a white spirit horse
awakens John as a “spirit walker,” who cannot be killed in battle; having his
own score to settle with Cavendish, Tonto agrees to ride with John and bring
the cannibalistic “wendigo” to justice.
Wearing a mask to protect his identity, John is christened the “Lone
Ranger” and works with everyone from brothel madam Red Harrington (Helena
Bonham Carter) to United States Calvary Captain Jay Fuller (Barry Pepper) to find
Cavendish; all the while uncovering a massive conspiracy involving the railroad
and silver mines, placating increasingly restless Comanche tribes, uncovering
Tonto’s tortured past, and saving his widowed sister-in-law and former
love-interest, Rebecca Reid (Ruth Wilson)…in the process becoming the only hero
capable of saving The West.
There was never going to be a middle-ground with The Lone Ranger: either it was going to
be groundbreaking surprise thoroughly revitalizing the appeal of the Old West,
or it was going to be an epic disaster resulting in the biggest financial loss
for Disney since they sent Taylor Kitsch to Mars…and unfortunately, film
quality did almost nothing to prevent the more dreaded of the two
alternatives. Within the first minutes
of the bloated narrative, it is clear that the movie is in BIG trouble…from the
thoroughly nonsensical framing device to the decidedly silly first sighting of
our “hero,” audiences are only left to pray that the film gets better, and even
after over two hours of second chances, a majority of audiences will be left
wanting. As I mentioned earlier, Armie
Hammer and Johnny Depp do actually work quite well together, but that dynamic
is largely overshadowed by Depp’s performance and mannerisms, which has become
so familiar and tired that it is near-impossible to decide whether he is
phoning-in his screen-time anymore. In
the end, too many plot points are introduced with very little resolution,
making it all the more baffling that a finished product like this came from
several rewrites and was able to get the number crunchers at Disney to sign-off
on such a massive production budget. And
believe it or not, these shortcomings I have identified are the least
reprehensible crimes committed by The
Lone Ranger, in retrospect meaning that this cinematic gamble has virtually
no redeeming qualities whatsoever.
Given his origin and popularity heyday, it is anything
but inaccurate to label the characters of Tonto and his mask-wearing vigilante
partner as outdated, and sadly, The Lone
Ranger does absolutely nothing to update this mythos, all the while
committing misstep after misstep to produce one of the most questionable “Disney”
films ever. And if you don’t think that
John Reid was badly in need of an update for modern audiences, case-in-point involves
the final climax where the classic William
Tell Overture kicks-in as the hero theme song…what was supposed to be an
exciting action sequence is so ridiculously corny and out-of-date that it is
almost embarrassing, so how in the hell did Hans Zimmer allow that kind of
music into a movie bearing his name? The
sad truth is that the narrative just doesn’t give moviegoers any kind of hero
to root for: John Reid has been bastardized into a wimp, Tonto’s backstory
takes a decidedly dark and violent turn that is sure to upset younger viewers,
and even Butch Cavendish starts-out as a scary villain only to come across as
someone who doesn’t really deserve the attention required to root against a
villain. In fact, in speaking to the
waste of a villain, it seems that any glimmer of hope which could have saved
this movie is cast aside for some altogether questionable reason or other
nonsense plot-twist…maybe I wouldn’t have enjoyed the film more if there had
been a more engaging love-interest or if Helena Bonham Carter had gotten more
than ten minutes of screen time. Ever
since The Lone Ranger released and
was declared a commercial flop, several analysts and members of the film crew
have claimed that the film was unfairly received…based on what I’ve seen, Johnny
Depp’s newest failure got exactly what it deserved, maybe even more.
Surprise, surprise, The Lone Ranger was an absolute disaster, succumbing to a
questionable release date, unfocused marketing, and altogether awful critical
and audience reactions to earn only a $29 million, second place opening that
represents a nightmare for studio bean counters. Against a reported $215 million production
budget and beefy marketing costs, Disney’s high-profile summer entry should
have cleared at least $500 million to get even close to breaking even…as of the
writing of this review, The Lone Ranger
has finished its theatrical run with a lifetime gross just barely covering the
initial budget, numbers that are pathetic within the proper context. And to add insult to injury, Depp, Hammer,
Verbinski, and Bruckheimer have ALL gone out of their way to blame the failure
of the movie on critics…never mind that the movie was awful it its own right,
it reeks of denial and arrogance to take no responsibility for a bad film that
moviegoers were right to ignore. Yes,
marketing efforts could have done a little better in filling theaters, but
maybe the bigger impact of this disaster is that it represents Depp’s second
straight flop after Dark Shadows,
which may be the beginning of the end for the A-lister’s revered status. No matter what way you try and look at its
elements or rationalize its offerings, The
Lone Ranger remains a shamefully weak and altogether embarrassing film that
should be avoided at all costs.
Overall
Recommendation: Very Low
