A Good Day to Die Hard: Short and Sweet

Without a doubt, the Die Hard film series represents one of my favorite film franchises of all time; I have been inside Nakatomi Plaza, I never trust a game of “Simon Says,” and good luck getting me anywhere near an airport during a snowstorm.  Of all the classic action heroes of the 80s and 90s, at least in my eyes, no one beats John McClane, and for the past twenty-five years, he has been teaching terrorists the deeper meaning of “Yippie ki-yay.”  Now, where the Rambo and Terminator series have clearly passed their primes, the Die Hard property has held up remarkably well, with 2007’s Live Free or Die Hard offering an acceptably believable look at an aged hero, thereby making reaction to a fifth installment one of optimism.  A Good Day to Die Hard would take Bruce Willis out of the franchise’s traditional formula by centering the film in a foreign country, and based on the trailers, setting the lone-wolf everyman in Russia proved just as entertaining as the previous chapters.  Even the discrepancy of releasing an R-rated action film on Valentine’s Day wasn’t going to stop me from watching the character’s kick-ass return.

Wow, after A Good Day to Die Hard’s seemingly resolute goal of defecating over every aspect that made the original Die Hard films so charming and iconic, I would prefer to act as if this piece of garbage never happened…Bruce Willis, how could you let this happen to the series that made you famous?  Devoid of anything resembling a believable plot, an engaging villain, or the sarcastic leading man we have come to love over the years, the sad truth is that we are not watching John McClane; we are watching an aged Bruce Willis inexplicably survive the most ridiculous death traps in recent memory.  The lack of a villain was a huge misstep in and of itself, but nothing can justify Jai Courtney as McClane’s lackluster and thoroughly unlikable son.  Even if 20^th Century Fox made this sequel as a cash grab, I don’t understand how the studio could have let John Moore and screenwriter Skip Woods do this to one of their most lucrative properties.  As far as I am concerned, there are only four films in the Die Hard series, so for your own dignity and in reverence to a departed character, stay away from this disaster. 

Overall Recommendation: Very Low

A Good Day to Die Hard: Full Review

A Good Day to Die Hard - (February 14, 2013): R

Distributor: 20^th Century Fox
    
Opening Weekend Box Office: #1 with $24,825,000

Domestic Box Office Gross to-date: $37,539,000

Gross Revenue: $117,139,000

Production Budget: $92 million

Director: John Moore

Singlehandedly redefining the action genre in 1988, few films hold as revered a spot in my cinematic library as the original Die Hard (for the love of God, it even has Notre Dame references), and since my initial exposure to John McClane, I have loved every chapter of the hero’s story (95’s With a Vengeance being my personal favorite).  I was a little pissed when Live Free or Die Hard earned a PG-13 rating and muffled the infamous profanity-laden catchphrase, but if anything, that choice made me all the more excited when it was announced that A Good Day to Die Hard would be returning to the franchise’s default classification of “17 and over unless accompanied by an adult.”  With its inherent legacy and the massive established fan base, 20^th Century Fox certainly didn’t have to worry about drawing a respectable crowd over the extended President’s Day holiday, but that didn’t mean that it was okay to bastardize one of the greatest movie quotes of all time with a tagline like “Yippie Ki-Yay, Mother Russia”…yuck.  Now, where I was pretty pleased with the addition of Spartacus: Blood and Sand star Jai Courtney as McClane’s son, I was perplexed at the lack of information regarding the upcoming villain; I mean c’mon, who was going to follow in the footsteps of Alan Rickman, Jeremy Irons, and Timothy Olyphant?  And let’s not forget that the track record of aged action heroes trying to revive careers has been spotty lately (just ask Schwarzenegger and Stallone), but in revisiting a character that audiences recognize and adore, everyone had high hopes for this fifth installment.

Pitting John McClane (Bruce Willis) against odds that he has never faced, A Good Day to Die Hard opens with the Moscow pre-trial of political prisoner and whistleblower, Yuri Komarov (Sebastian Koch), who allegedly also possesses incriminating evidence against a high-ranking and corrupt government official, Viktor Chagrin (Sergei Kolesnikov).  Across town in a separate incident, Jack McClane (Jai Courtney) is arrested after a club shooting and agrees to provide evidence against Komarov in return for a shorter sentence; hearing of his son’s predicament, John McClane decides to travel to Russia in order to provide some support, earning some last minute advice from his daughter, Lucy (Mary Elizabeth Winstead).  While John approaches the courthouse that holds both his son and Komarov, a series of explosions orchestrated by Chagrin and his main enforcer, Alik (Radivoje Bukvić), detonate and free the prisoners; but before Jack and Komarov can be recaptured by the mercenaries, John confronts the duo and together, all three escape the brazen assault.  It is revealed that Jack is in fact a CIA operative tasked with extracting Komarov and recovering the evidence against Chagrin, but thanks to the brutal assassins on their tail, the aged McClane and his son are shockingly outmatched with little backup.  Uncovering a massive conspiracy that involves everything from Chernobyl to Komarov’s daughter, Irina (Yuliya Snigir), John McClane realizes that he will have to use every tool at his disposal in order to survive and save his family.

I am having trouble deciding where to start, because really, there is an insane amount of things wrong with A Good Day to Die Hard, thereby creating a film that not only leaves an indelible black mark on the franchise, but is also one that longtime fans would be better off not acknowledging.  First off, John McClane has always been rough around the edges, but so little of his charm and intelligence shows in this latest installment that it is near-impossible to recognize our beloved hero; in actuality, it is more like we are just watching Bruce Willis and he is in an exceptionally pissy mood, ignoring common sense in order to throw out another mean-spirited observation.  Then there is the shocking lack of competent supporting characters; Die Hard villains have always been a mix of threatening and fun, but the ill-defined Russians our hero fights this time around are little more than forgettable and stupid thugs who would get the hell beat out of them by the Gruber brothers.  And where McClane has enjoyed allies just as engaging as his adversaries, Jack is one of the most stoic and clichéd supporting characters I have ever encountered; when we were introduced to Lucy in 2007, she was a fun addition and a testament to her father’s personality, but it is hard to get any kind of reading off of Jack because he reveals little more than the fact that he hates his father (for no apparent reason…how original).  Now, while this many missteps are undoubtedly horrifying to longtime fans of Bruce Willis’ career-defining franchise, believe it or not, I am only getting started with pointing out everything that sucks about this fifth chapter.

 

One of the main reasons that John McClane has resonated so strongly with audiences is that he provides a stark contrast to macho super-humans like Stallone and Schwarzenegger; he is an ordinary man put in an unfortunate situation, and though he gets the hell beat out of him, he finds a way to save to the day.  Between its nonsensical script and over the top action sequences, the writers of A Good Day to Die Hard clearly forgot that simple truth, and the end-result is thoroughly and laughably unbelievable.  I may have been able to forgive the script’s inexplicable favoring of a Jason Bourne, international political conspiracy angle, that made very little sense and devolved into a Chernobyl cop-out, but I’m calling foul on all the death-traps McClane walks out of without a scratch.  Don’t get me wrong, the past Die Hard movies have had some ridiculous stunts, but McClane always got bloodied and bruised because of it and still kept fighting; this time around, there is no way that I’m going to buy that he was thrown from a crashing helicopter through reinforced glass at a high velocity, only to pop-up and start laughing immediately, showing no signs of pain or fatigue…what a load of crap.  To put it simply, A Good Day to Die Hard goes out of its way to either pervert or ignore every aspect that made its predecessors so successful, and because of that, longtime fans have to feel betrayed and infuriated.

As the highest profile release of the Valentine’s/President’s Day Holiday Weekend, A Good Day to Die Hard was the easy favorite against competing entries from the romance genre like Beautiful Creatures and Safe Haven…talk about a release schedule causing strife between couples deciding what to see at the theater.  Because of the reputation of the Die Hard movies, analysts projected a debut in the ballpark of $40 million, and though the fifth chapter fell far short of those expectations, domestic and international revenues have combined for a considerable impact, none of which the film deserves.  I can only hope that word of mouth and the critical panning thus far received does its job and stops the momentum of this sequel dead in the water, preventing the turn of a profit and any discussion of releasing a sixth installment.  As the first film of the series to truly receive a negative reception, you would think that both Bruce Willis and 20^th Century Fox would be embarrassed, because truthfully, they owe fans an apology for this project that should have never been made.  If you are a true fan of Die Hard, stay the hell away from the theater, pop-in the collector’s edition DVDs, and remember the better times of John McClane, because this time around, all we are left with is an unrecognizable shadow of former glory that is long gone.

    

  Overall Recommendation: Very Low  

Identity Thief: Short and Sweet

After the runaway success of Bridesmaids, Melissa McCarthy has become one of the most universally beloved personalities in Hollywood, and even though I have never watched CBS’ Mike & Molly, between her guest roles and interviews, there is no denying that the woman is a master of physical and ad-libbed comedy.  And in terms of public perception, if there is a male counterpart to McCarthy, it has to be Jason Bateman, who between Arrested Development and Horrible Bosses has demonstrated both flawless comedic timing and an unmistakably likable personality.  So, when you stop to think about it, putting these two together was an absolute no-brainer and almost guaranteed to truly impressive box office haul.  But when Universal decided to shift the opening of Identity Thief from the highly-coveted May release schedule to the cinematic wasteland that is February, a few red flags arose.  2013 has thus-far failed to produce a truly funny comedy, so even if a majority of this buddy/road film’s potential was squandered, the pairing of McCarthy and Bateman still represented a treat that shouldn’t be missed.

Offering up some considerable laughs while showcasing and reinforcing the talent of its headliners, Identity Thief is rewardingly funny, but clearly relies too heavily on the inherent likability of McCarthy and Bateman.  Aside from a handful of wild scenarios, the narrative is plagued with overly convenient story progressions and thoroughly useless subplots that are annoyingly distracting and offer no resolution whatsoever.  The filmmakers inexplicably decided to abandon the initially lighthearted focus of this comedy in favor of an attempt to inject some drama and pathos into the script, but the end result just leads to unbelievable character development.  For instance, as the “victim,” Jason Bateman is far too forgiving after having his life destroyed, while McCarthy, the “thief,” so rapidly seeks redemption after showing no remorse that the audience may get whiplash…I’m not buying any of it.  Fans can appreciate that McCarthy and Bateman tried their best to save a sub-par project, but make no mistake, there have been far stronger road comedies in the past. 

Overall Recommendation: Medium

Identity Thief: Full Review

Identity Thief - (February 8, 2013): R

Distributor: Universal Pictures
    
Opening Weekend Box Office: #1 with $34,551,025

Domestic Box Office Gross to-date: $70,725,000

Gross Revenue: $70,950,372

Production Budget: $35 million

Director: Seth Gordon

 

When it comes to the road film comedy, the gold standard against which all others are measured is Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, and save a few notable exceptions, like Due Date, Hollywood has had trouble replicating the success and quality of that benchmark.  Based on the behind-the-camera pedigree of those involved, it seemed like Identity Thief would be able to revive some mass interest in the sub-genre, as director Seth Gordon definitely hit a home run with Horrible Bosses, and producer Scott Stuber wowed audiences with Ted.  In terms of the mismatched pairing that would help drive this buddy comedy, Jason Bateman has more than proven his competency on the big screen, and even though Melissa McCarthy hasn’t had a main role since Bridesmaids, she has been a notable scene stealer in other projects (as the gag reel for This is 40 proved this past Holiday Season).  The strong fan-bases for both of these headliners would be a dominant presence in the ticket lines, but regardless, Universal’s marketing department still went out of its way to generate mass awareness, as you couldn’t turn on a television in the weeks leading up to release without seeing the wild trailer.  As a fan of both actors, there was no way I was going to miss Identity Thief, and after the failed attempt of Movie 43 to inject some legitimate laughs into January, I was positive that mass audiences were going to show up as well, looking forward to a good laugh.

Identity Thief introduces audiences to straight-laced financial advisor Sandy Patterson (Jason Bateman), an honest family man who has his world turned upside down when career con artist Diana (Melissa McCarthy) steals all of his personal information and starts running up credit card debt and police warrants in his name.  Frustrated by the lack of motivation from the Denver police, Sandy, after some minimal detective work, discovers that Diana is based in Florida and resolves to bring her back with him so that she can answer for her crimes and set the record straight.  Though Sandy locates Diana with relative ease, the criminal is understandably reluctant to return, that is until violent local gangsters Julian (T.I.) and Marisol (Genesis Rodríguez) arrive and force the pair to flee for safety, a task made all the more difficult as the single identity shared by the two makes flying impossible.  Forced to take to the road, Sandy and Diana run across all manner of colorful characters on their journey, including unconventional businessman Big Chuck (Eric Stonestreet) and psychotic bounty hunter Skiptracer (Robert Patrick), in the process learning more about each other and growing closer.  As Diana begins feeling remorse for the damage she has caused Sandy and his family, Sandy has a crisis of conscience as to whether he should truly turn-in the woman who stole from him, as her crimes seem more misguided than genuinely malevolent.

Though the erratic script of Identity Thief leaves plenty to be desired, the all-star cast thankfully gives plenty of effort to ensure that the potential of this comedy doesn’t completely flat line.  It should come as absolutely no surprise that Jason Bateman and Melissa McCarthy are at the top of their respective games with this buddy comedy, playing and ad-libbing off each other with razor-sharp wit that generates some big laughs.  The two are just so inherently likable that their mere presence on screen will keep a smile on your face, and the sheer level of physical comedy from McCarthy proves that the talented actress can offer far much more than the persona she first introduced in Bridesmaids; anyone calling her a one-hit-wonder is gravely mistaken.  And as for the supporting cast, where some of the talent involved was clearly wasted, Eric Stonestreet and Robert Patrick deliver the best performances that their respective characters would allow, setting up some truly wacky scenarios and holding their own against the revered A-listers.  But sadly, despite all the star power involved, Identity Thief is still plagued with a mediocre script that introduces distracting and unresolved subplots that pervert overall tone and squander opportunities for stronger jokes.

Despite the fact that Identity Thief isn’t a complete disaster, things could have gone much smoother had the narrative shied away from introducing unnecessary pathos and instead focused on making better use of some of the bigger names involved.  Like I said in the “Short and Sweet” review, Diana’s rapid transition to remorse for her crimes and Sandy’s quickly-forgiving nature is far too convenient and almost ridiculously unbelievable…had that shift in character been in the hands of any other actors than these fan-favorites, the movie would have capsized.  And even though I praised a few members of the supporting cast, it was disappointing to see proven comedic talents like Jon Favreau, John Cho, and Amanda Peet, relegated to throwaway bit roles, while other subplots received more attention without generating the expected pay-off.  Again, this shortcoming isn’t necessarily the fault of the cast; it is just a little frustrating to know that the script added very little help to the talent, who clearly ad-libbed some of their best lines.  In the end, Identity Thief is a reliable choice if you are looking for some genuine laughs, but true enjoyment is contingent on modifying expectations and realizing that, by-and-large, this comedy could and should have been a much more competent film.

As the first high-profile release of the normally slow February box office, Identity Thief struck the right chord with audiences, raking-in an impressive $34 million and soundly trouncing competition for the top opening.  The quality of the film may be sub-par and generate some unfavorable word of mouth, but that should do little to slow down this newest comedy over the extended President’s Day Holiday Weekend.  Putting that fact against the modest $35 million budget, it is likely that the film will turn a nice profit even with a virtually non-existent international presence, as no direct competitors hit the theater for over a month.  At the very least, the staying power of Universal’s newest release will be an unquestionable testament to the inherent draw of Bateman and McCarthy, and spell some pretty high expectations for The Heat, which will see McCarthy team-up with Sandra Bullock this June.  For now though, Identity Thief may be a treat for fans of the main headliners, but it doesn’t offer anything truly special that you will remember a few months down the line.

    

Overall Recommendation: Medium