Haywire - (January 20, 2012): R
Distributor: Relativity Media
Opening Weekend Box Office: #6 with $8,425,370
Domestic Box Office Gross to-date: $10,662,106
Gross Revenue: $10,662,106
Production Budget: $23 million
Director: Steven Soderbergh
When I first saw the trailer for Haywire, I was understandably intrigued by the notion of throwing a former MMA fighter into the crosshairs by having her headline an A-list cast in a Hollywood blockbuster, without any proven acting credentials. Now, to be fair, I am a fan of Gina Carano as a fighter, find her insanely attractive, and remember fondly her days as an American Gladiator, performing under the moniker “Crush,” so of course I was going to see her filmmaking debut. Steven Soderbergh’s name on the title-card was also a bit of a question mark, as he is better known for the crime-caper genre ( à la Ocean’s Eleven), but he hit the mark a few months ago with Contagion, so who’s to say that he couldn’t have success with yet another different type of film? Relativity Media has been skyrocketing in popularity lately, building a reputation with strong and engaging titles, and with so many bankable names attached to the project, it wouldn’t be difficult to sell Haywire to a diverse audience, whether that included the adolescent females who drool over Channing Tatum and Michael Fassbender or the cinematic savants who wanted to see Michael Douglas’ return to the big screen. Clearly positioned as the female Jason Bourne, Carano had plenty to prove to both her fans and curious moviegoers, and hopefully Haywire’s box office performance would follow the lead of the film’s already-impressive critical reception.
Telling a story of betrayal and cover-up using a non-linear narrative, Haywire first introduces audiences to covert operative Mallory Kane (Gina Carano) as she narrowly escapes detainment after an attack orchestrated by former associate, Aaron (Channing Tatum). Fleeing alongside an innocent patron, Scott (Michael Angarano), Mallory then recounts her story, where she recently worked alongside Aaron for a snatch-and-grab job in Barcelona. The contract was set up by her employer and ex-boyfriend, Kenneth (Ewan McGregor), and was in turn commissioned by government agents Coblenz (Michael Douglas) and Rodrigo (Antonio Banderas). Following the success of that mission, Mallory was then sent to Dublin as part of a reconnaissance mission alongside British agent Paul (Michael Fassbender); unfortunately, upon completion, Paul double-crosses and attacks Mallory, who narrowly prevails and soon finds herself pursued by local authorities. Things are further complicated when the narrative switches back to present-day and both Coblenz and Kenneth are branding Mallory a rogue agent and trying to convince her father, John Kane (Bill Paxton), that his daughter killed fellow agents in cold blood. Now racing to clear her name and punish those who betrayed her, Mallory must use all of her training to uncover the truth.
Based on that plot synopsis, you might be tempted to think that Haywire offers a thrilling and engaging spy adventure, but unfortunately, if you walk into the theater with those kinds of expectations, I guarantee that you will be bitterly disappointed. It is one thing to keep an audience in the dark and tie everything together in the final minutes; however it is quite another to bring in so many twist, turns, and unanswered questions, that the audience has no clue what the hell is going on for a majority of the film and is then disappointed by subpar resolutions. Tragically, Haywire is the type of film that you keep hoping will get better, but ultimately keeps dragging along until the end credits begin to roll…bummer. In terms of the “no-holds-barred” fighting that was promised in the trailers, Carano demonstrates why she is a champion, but the fights themselves are infrequent and overly-choreographed, offering little suspense or excitement. Now, you may think that I have altered my format and will now offer the positive accolades associated with Haywire, but the criticisms I just identified are simply the lesser of two evils, as this “thriller” makes some even graver mistakes.
In terms of directing, scoring, and acting, Haywire is easily an early contender for biggest failure in moviemaking of 2012. I have written over one hundred and twenty reviews for Pantages’ Theater, and I cannot think of one film that has a more blatant mismatch between director and subject material than Haywire, as Steven Soderbergh seemed determined to turn this spy action film into the next entry within the Ocean’s Eleven series. Mallory is supposed to be a no-nonsense operative dealing with the most dangerous individuals on the planet, but camera angles, pacing, and scoring keep everything too lighthearted…every single time someone jumps, runs, or gets shot, music kicks in that would have you believing that George Clooney is going to walk onscreen alongside Brad Pitt and start counting cards. And then there is the acting; as much as it pains me to say as a fan of the female lead and out of fear that Carano might actually read this review and retaliate, the reality is that the MMA star has zero charisma and delivers her lines with less personality than a robot…I’ve seen better acting on YouTube. No one can deny that Carano is nice to look at, but that is where the appeal of Haywire begins and ends; plain and simple, this is just an awful movie.
I cannot remember the last time that I was actually pissed that I paid money to see a film, but I felt slightly vindicated when Haywire underperformed in its first weekend. For all of the high-end names attached to the project, a 6th place opening has to be disappointing; my guess is that audiences just couldn’t get past the general unfamiliarity of Carano outside MMA circles. Thankfully, Relativity didn’t spend too much on this project, so there is a chance that financial loss will be at a minimum when weighed against a $23 million production budget. For the life of me, I cannot imagine how Haywire received an 80% on RottenTomatoes, I don’t think I can ever trust that review aggregator again. I don’t care how curious or forgiving you may be, DO NOT waste time or money on Haywire, you deserve far better.
Overall Recommendation: Very Low
