Jonah Hex: (June 18, 2010): PG-13
Distributor: Warner Bros.
Opening Weekend Box-Office: #7 with $5,379,365
Domestic Box-Office Gross to-date: $10,547,117
Gross Revenue: $10,547,117
Budget: $47 million
Director: Jimmy Hayward
For anyone who read my weekend preview, I was more than skeptical about Jonah Hex. Yes, the trailers released on primetime television and YouTube were prevalent, and yes, Josh Brolin and Megan Fox had made their obligatory appearances at San Diego’s annual Comic-Con to promote the film, but I still maintained that Jonah Hex himself was just too obscure of a comic book character to draw a strong audience. There was the possibility that Jonah Hex would have an acceptable story and be entertaining enough to generate some positive word-of-mouth, but as I walked out of the theater, it was clear that hell would have to freeze over before Jonah Hex would gain any such positive acclaim.
Here’s the story, Jonah Hex (Josh Brolin) is a former Confederate soldier who defected to the Union before the end of the Civil War. His betrayal led to the death of his commanding officer’s son, and so, his commanding officer, Quentin Turnbull (John Malkovich) retaliates by murdering Hex’s wife and son and horribly disfiguring Hex himself. Fast forward a few years and Hex is now working as a bounty hunter while Turnbull has stolen a devastating weapon that he plans to use on the United States. Naturally, Hex is presented the opportunity to both have his revenge and save the day by stopping Turnbull. While there were definitely times that Jonah Hex seemed way too much like 1999’s Wild Wild West, the story could have been entertaining if it was executed properly; sadly, such was not the case.
The single biggest problem with Jonah Hex has to do with the film’s run-time. At 81 minutes long, Jonah Hex is way too short for any kind of character development beyond Hex himself. While it may seem that a bad movie being too short might be a good thing, the shame is that Jonah Hex could have been much better if only the script had allowed for more explanation. Josh Brolin actually does pretty well with his character, but it’s hard to judge either John Malkovich or Megan Fox as the villain or the female lead respectively, simply because they each are only on screen for a maximum of about 20-30 minutes, if that. John Malkovich is usually a dependable go-to villain, and though Megan Fox isn’t known for her acting skills, it’s damn-near impossible to rate either of their performances.
With so little time to put together a plausible comic book adaptation, there are way too many assumptions expected of the audience. We have no clue why Fox’s character loves Hex or exactly what Turnbull is trying to accomplish or even how his weapon works (he shoots a glowing orb at giant iron balls, which in turn generates something akin to a nuclear explosion…yeah, and apparently Eli Whitney created it after the cotton gin); we just have to accept the film’s reality as given. Again, with even a little more plot development, Jonah Hex could have been a much better film.
However, in spite of the short run-time, there are still some pretty big criticisms worth noting. The writers decided to give Hex supernatural powers (a trait completely absent from the comics), and while initially novel, they become distracting and way too confusing. Hex has the ability to bring the dead back to life momentarily, but the longer he keeps them alive, the more they start deteriorating. This kind of mystic, messing with the afterlife stuff is very reminiscent of 2008’s Ghost Rider, and it’s even dumber now than it was then. Another problem has to do with Hex’s weaponry…carrying a six-gun is standard enough for a western-era hero, but attaching rail-guns to a horse or wielding crossbows that ignite and shoot sticks of dynamite (I’ll admit, those were actually pretty cool), simply shows that the film can’t decide if it wants to be a western or a comic-book adaptation. Sure, the two genres could have mixed successfully, but in this case, they didn’t.
In terms of weekend box-office, Warner Bros. is experiencing nothing short of a nightmare. It was bad enough to go against Toy Story 3 for weekend movie-goers, but I don’t think anyone could have predicted that Jonah Hex would do this poorly. The film cleared just over $5 million its opening weekend, placing it 7th or 8th against other offerings in terms of revenue…for those of you not that familiar with box-office analysis, that’s shockingly bad, especially for a summer movie. Some reports indicate that Jonah Hex’s numbers make it the worst superhero movie opening since 1997’s Steel (Don’t remember it? Well, you shouldn’t, it starred Shaquille O’Neal…that’s right, in addition to Kazaam, Shaq actually played a superhero). I’ve said before that Marvel is far surpassing DC in the realm of comic book movies, but with Jonah Hex and the recently disappointing The Losers (a DC Comics adaptation released in April); Marvel has little to worry about. Jonah Hex is faithful enough to the core material to please its extremely limited fan base, but for the rest of us, it’s nothing more than a critical and financial failure.
Overall Recommendation: Very Low
